Musings On Being A Blogger And Life

I have really loved being a blogger for the past nine

months.  I have even tried to stay up on it when I was

off on vacations.

This past week I was out of town and I posted on

Monday night.  When I went to open on Tuesday

morning I could not find my dashboard and I was told

that my blog had been removed!  I immediately started

getting texts and emails asking if I had stopped blogging.

If you haven't had this happen to you, you don't know

how awful it makes you feel.  I had no idea what to

do or where to turn.  In my limited knowledge I

"googled" the issue and sent out a query.  I was just

sick to my stomach, wishing I had turned all of my work

into a book.  I sent Joni (my sister at Red Couch Recipes)

messages asking if she knew anything. She didn't have any 

suggestions either. 

You feel like you have been kicked in the stomach.  You

feel like you have had the rug ripped out from under you, but

there was nothing I could do.  I had friends trying to open my

blog to see if it was just a problem with my computer, but they

were getting the same result.

Fortunately later that day, I tried again and it was back,

no explanations, no nothing.  It makes one feel insecure

investing more time in this experience we call blogging.

  I backed off for a week.

It made me think of my sister Jean and her family who have

invested 17 1/2 years of their lives in their son Kevin.

Kevin passed away about a week and a half

ago.  He had been born 11 weeks early and developed

cerebral palsy from complications in NICU.  Kevin never

could speak or sit, or crawl, but he could smile and he could

smack his lips to let you know he loved you.  One day

without much notice, after he had experienced symptoms

that shut down his lungs he was gone too. 

As badly as I felt about my blog being "removed", I kept

thinking how my sister's family must be feeling.  I would make

comments to friends about my blog, saying, "When I used to be

a blogger...".  I am sure they are doing the same type of thing -

thinking about Kevin, referring to him, struggling with even

the thought that he is gone.

Life is so fragile. 

 There are comings and goings.  I am

so grateful for the peace the Gospel of Jesus Christ

brings, that Kevin is not just "removed" but he is whole

and well and able to run and not be weary and walk and

not faint.  He is able to communicate now.  How wonderful

it will be to see him someday when I too have moved on.

So, despite fears that my blog might disappear again, I am back

(admittedly with some trepidation for the future).  I know

that my little blog doesn't in any way compare to Kevin's

precious life, but somehow it gave me a bit of a feeling of

what it is to lose something/someone that we love.