Monday, February 28, 2011

Musings On Being A Blogger And Life


I have really loved being a blogger for the past nine
months.  I have even tried to stay up on it when I was
off on vacations.

This past week I was out of town and I posted on
Monday night.  When I went to open on Tuesday
morning I could not find my dashboard and I was told
that my blog had been removed!  I immediately started
getting texts and emails asking if I had stopped blogging.

If you haven't had this happen to you, you don't know
how awful it makes you feel.  I had no idea what to
do or where to turn.  In my limited knowledge I
"googled" the issue and sent out a query.  I was just
sick to my stomach, wishing I had turned all of my work
into a book.  I sent Joni (my sister at Red Couch Recipes)
messages asking if she knew anything. She didn't have any 
suggestions either. 

You feel like you have been kicked in the stomach.  You
feel like you have had the rug ripped out from under you, but
there was nothing I could do.  I had friends trying to open my
blog to see if it was just a problem with my computer, but they
were getting the same result.

Fortunately later that day, I tried again and it was back,
no explanations, no nothing.  It makes one feel insecure
investing more time in this experience we call blogging.
  I backed off for a week.

It made me think of my sister Jean and her family who have
invested 17 1/2 years of their lives in their son Kevin.


Kevin passed away about a week and a half
ago.  He had been born 11 weeks early and developed
cerebral palsy from complications in NICU.  Kevin never
could speak or sit, or crawl, but he could smile and he could
smack his lips to let you know he loved you.  One day
without much notice, after he had experienced symptoms
that shut down his lungs he was gone too. 

As badly as I felt about my blog being "removed", I kept
thinking how my sister's family must be feeling.  I would make
comments to friends about my blog, saying, "When I used to be
a blogger...".  I am sure they are doing the same type of thing -
thinking about Kevin, referring to him, struggling with even
the thought that he is gone.

Life is so fragile. 
 There are comings and goings.  I am
so grateful for the peace the Gospel of Jesus Christ
brings, that Kevin is not just "removed" but he is whole
and well and able to run and not be weary and walk and
not faint.  He is able to communicate now.  How wonderful
it will be to see him someday when I too have moved on.

So, despite fears that my blog might disappear again, I am back
(admittedly with some trepidation for the future).  I know
that my little blog doesn't in any way compare to Kevin's
precious life, but somehow it gave me a bit of a feeling of
what it is to lose something/someone that we love.



Jacqueline
Jacqueline

Chocolat - French for Chocolate. I adored chocolate from a young age when I had to sneak in the cupboard to find where my mother had hidden the Nestle's Chocolate Chips. Having read about the famous chocolat shoppes in Paris, when I finally got there I was determined to try a chocolate from every Paris shoppe. I invite you to share my adventures in creating, in travel, and in life.

36 comments:

  1. Jacqueline, My sympathy to your family on the loss of Kevin. You are right in that if we accept Jesus into our hearts and live for Him, we have hope beyond this life. What a wonderful message that is! I wasn't aware your blog was gone, but I sure am glad it is present as it is a fabulous blog. So creative and so beautiful.
    Blessings, Beth

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  2. I'm so sorry for your family's loss, but I too share your beliefs that you will be reunited one day and that he will fully enjoy life everlasting without the boundaries his body forced upon him on Earth. I hope his immediate family can take comfort in that as well.

    Patricia
    PS - whenever my blog has a hiccup like that, I just go away for a few hours and when I come back, all is well.

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  3. IM SOOO SORRY FOR YOUR LOST AND PAIN!! I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, MY BEST FRIEND THAT'S MORE LIKE A SISTER TO ME HAS A SON WHO IS HANDICAP HIS NAME IS EDDIE, I NICK NAMED HIM ANGEL, BECAUSE IN MY EYES HE IS JUST THAT AN ANGEL ON EARTH!! AS YOUR DEAR SWEET NEPHEW IS.

    XOX~MARI

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  4. Jacqueline, I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved nephew, Kevin, on Joni's blog. It is a comfort to know that the separation is only temporary, and that Kevin is free from physical restrictions. May his family feel true comfort and peace from the Savior. God bless you all.

    This week, whenever I checked your blog on my dashboard your thumbnail showed up:) I'm glad all is well with your blog. I would really miss you if you disappeared!

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  5. Jacqueline,

    My heart goes with you and your sister right now. I'll be praying for you. I'm so sorry to hear this. Life is too fragile and we need to realize the importance of "now". That's all we got.

    About your blog, that's really weird. I hope you find a way to back-up your beautiful work. It's way too precious to lose it.

    Have a blessed week, my friend! I'll be praying for you and your family.

    xo

    Luciane at HomeBunch.com

    Post of the Day: A day at the Ranch.

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  6. Jacqueline,
    Sometimes just knowing that there are hearts out there reaching out to you, can help you know the goodness and blessings that we all have in our lives. Sharing my heart with you!
    xoso Sandy O

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  7. I checked your blog last week and yes, it said that it had been removed. I panicked. I just kept checking back until one day it was there.
    My heart goes out to your sister and her family.
    Linda

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  8. I'm so very sorry to hear about your nephew's passing. Your family is in my prayers.

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  9. Some things really put life into perspective. I am so sorry for your loss of your nephew but rejoice with you in the certainty that he is now whole and with our Lord!

    The blog loss is scary and I know how you must feel...it would hurt me to lose what I have put so much time into. How to back it up anyone?

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  10. Jacqueline, they say the loss of a child is like no other. My heart goes out to each of you. A loss such as this puts everything into perspective for us.
    I've been told that one can backup a blog by exporting it to your hard drive. I've done that, but I can't open it once it is on my harddrive. I use a Mac, which may be the reason. I want to learn more though so that I'm certain I have a backup. ~ Sarah

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  11. I'm so very sorry to hear about your nephew's passing........You and Your family is in my prayers darling.....take care.....love and warm hugs from me .....xxx...and what happenend with your blog ?? and how you get it back?? love Ria...xxx.

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  12. My thoughts are with you and your family Jacqueline, it's a very difficult time I'm sure.

    As for the blog, there sure seem to be a lot of gremlins running around recently! Last week my computer got so slow I had to just shut it off and walk away. Also, for a day I could not load any pictures to posts. Then the next day, everything was fine again. Stay tuned:@)

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  13. I am so sorry for your loss of Kevin. As I wrote on Joni's post I have followed your blog for a while and had no idea you were Laurel and Kevin's aunts. My husband has known Laurel for over 10 years and got to know Kevin and that he is the picture of innocence and pure love. I know this has beena hard time for your family and you will continue to be in our prays.

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  14. i am so sorry for your families loss, what a beautiful tribute to such a bright soul~

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  15. Jacqueline,
    I am soooooooo sorry for the loss & sadness for sweet Kevin. Your thoughts & attitude are so wonderful for indeed he is no longer held in his physical body of pain/problems. HUGS, PRAYERS, & HEALING for those left with the hole in their hearts/lives. A terrible loss indeed. But, remember the blessings he brought to all while his sweet spirit was here.

    And as for you blog disappearing... YIKES what a terrible thing to happen. I would panic too. We that love our blogs & our blog friends are so HOOKED to them. And they are valuable to US. After all that is why I blog. FOR ME!!!!!!!! And for the record I would be soooo sad & miss you if you chose to stop blogging! And look at all the yummy receipes you share & the beauty of your photos are so special. THANK YOU for being my blogging buddies.
    HUGS
    Charlene

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  16. Jacqueline, much sympathy and many prayers. Although there is a huge hole in your heart and those of your family, know that he is now whole. His lesson to us on earth has succeeded and it was his time to move on.

    I too came across your blog and was stunned.. shocked and dismayed. I cried and wailed and missed you. But then the next day or was it two.. you were back and life was back to being happy. I can only imagine how you felt. I would have been in tears. It's a lesson for all of us. I'm glad you survived and are back. I almost popped your sister a note!

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  17. My deepest condolences for your family's loss.

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  18. Sweet Kevin. My sympathy and prayers go out to you and your family. May you all find peace and comfort in presence of the Holy Spirit and have joy in your memories of Kevin.

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  19. Jacqueline, I too send my sympathy to your family on the loss of Kevin. I have a 23 year old nephew who is exactly like Kevin. Every time he gets sick I hold my breath. I am not sure what my sister would do at his loss. I agree that the gospel is the only true comfort at a time like this. In the last 3 weeks we have lost both my father in law and a very dear and special friend of over 50 years. My heart cries for you and your family. God bless and comfort all of you.

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  20. My sympathies to you..

    I know life is fragile..

    What a smile heaven is graced with now.

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  21. by the way... we were discussing this yesterday and we all came to the conclusion that you need to buy your domain name (purple chocolate home) just thought i would tell you. It's cheap to do

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  23. I am so sorry about Kevin. May you and your family find comfort in the memories you have of this very special child. He was so blessed to have been a part of your sweet family. It sounds like he was surrounded by so much love in his life. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I am a retired NICU nurse and have been fortunate to witness many miracles. I have also felt the heartache that touches many of the families. It was uplifting for you to share all the new joys Kevin is surrounded by today. He will always touch your heart with his memory.

    I love your Blog and look forward to each of your posts. You have been an inspiration to me. You are so talented and your home is so beautiful. Thanks for taking all the time to Blog and share so many beautiful things with all of us. May God Bless You.

    Hugs, Katherine S.

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  24. I'm so sorry for your family-it awesome to have that faith in Jesus though hey-totally comforting:)

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  25. Beautiful post on blogging and Kevin. I can't imagine Jean's loss. I hope you do stick with blogging it has been very fun to have a blogging buddy. Joni

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  26. Jackie I am so sorry for your families loss. Grateful for the gospel and the plan of salvation. Life has it ups and downs to help us come closer to our Savior. Grateful for our friendship and grateful for your blog. I was lost with out it. Glad it fix itself. Love ya!!

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  27. I'm sorry for the loss of your nephew, Kevin. I bet he has the most beautiful voice in heaven.

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  28. I am so sorry for your family's loss. I know that Kevin is
    reveling in his new body in Christ. I pray that your family will be comforted with the peace and comfort that our Lord provides for his children. Prayerfully, Ginger

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  29. So sorry for your loss. It's true, it's so comforting to know that the Gospel is true and be able to hold onto it during hard times.

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  30. Oh, Jacqueline, I am so very sad for you & your family. Kevin is safe, running across the meadows of heaven, and smiling down on all of you. Sending love, Marsha

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  31. No doubt you and yours are surely sad over the passing of your nephew Kevin ..... As believers we know that, "Absence of the body is prescence with the LORD." found in 2 Corinthians 5:8.....We now know your nephew is with his FATHER in heaven .....something that as christians we know will be ours as well one day ...... about your blog being lost .....that is disheartening to hear .....you had said something about turning your blog into a book .....how do you do that ? .....that is something i would interested in doing....well i best be going off to seize the day !!!!! nice to be here

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  32. I think that Kevin must have been met by my daddy when he walked through the gates into heaven. Daddy was a paraplegic for the last 25 years of his life, and I'm sure he must be part of the group to cheer for Kevin as he runs, hops, skips, jumps, and dances through the gates and down the streets of gold. Praise the Lord! I'm also glad that your blog issues are resolved. A visit to your post is always one of the highlights for me. Cherry Kay

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  33. I am so sorry for your loss. My sister has a similar situation.
    Prayers for the family.
    So glad your blog is back!

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  34. Many blessings to you and your family on the loss of your nephew. Regarding blog stuff, I too panic when something is askew. That is the problem with Blogger. Since it is not a paid service, there is no customer service number. I would pay to have some kind of service.

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  35. I can see I missed so much while I was gone. I was ready to comment on your most recent post when I read about comments which made me step back to find what caused them.

    I am so sorry about the loss of your nephew and the scare about your blog, which I'm sure seems insignificant in comparison. A dear friend has an extreme preemie grandson who may face a similar future, sadly.

    BTW, your DIL is amazing and I'm glad your still blogging :)

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  36. Jacqueline, I am so very sorry for your loss as well as your family's. Kevin is healthy now and able to speak with the angels. It is sooooo hard to experience something like this but I do know that God will provide peace, strength and comfort.

    My blog was weird the other day. It is very unsettling ~ later on, it all was in order. I have no idea what goes on in this world of the internet...I am so far removed from technology skills. I love your blog though!

    xoxo
    Pat

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